Jurassic Park db forum

E is for EWOKS!!!

*hoard of ewoks run on board and create a mosh pit in the isle of the bus*

Whoah... /ohmy.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":o" border="0" alt="ohmy.gif" />

F IS FOR FIRE BRIGADE!!!!

*20 firefighters rush out of the bus bathroom and instantly start tossing dolphins and soggy Ewoks out the window. While doing this they slide around in the almost 2 feet of water that spilled out into the aisle with the dolphins*

G is for...

*is shoved over by George*

George: G is for GEORGE HARRISON!

*a bunch of Georges appear and wander around the bus playing guitars*

AAAHH!

H is for...

*is shoved over by one of the Georges*

George: H is for HARRISON, GEORGE!

*a bunch MORE Georges appear and wander around the bus backwards playing guitars with the wrong hand*

AAAAAAH!

I is for...

*is once again shoved over by George*

George: I is for I NEED YOU by George Harrison!

*All of the Georges start playing "I Need You" The backwards Georges play it backwards*

*duct tapes George's mouth shut.*

J is for JUMPING BEANS!

*The Georges all start playing some Mexican music as some giant Mexican jumping beans wearing sombreros appear and start jumping around*

Heehee!

*jumps around also*

*John Lennon suddenly wakes up from where he was sleeping on an overhead luggage rack*

John: *Runs around the bus stomping on the jumping beans screaming, "J IS FOR JOHN, J IS FOR JOHN!!"*

Uh....

Ms. DNA: K IS FOR KANGAROOS!!!!

*opens the emergency escape hatch in the roof and a a dozen kangaroos hop into the bus*

L is for Fire Safety!

O_O

*Watches as John stops squashing jumping beans and runs to attack Cyclopsis while yelling, "L IS FOR LENNON, YOU FOOL!"*

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This place is gettting a little too crazy! *All the chaos is causing the bus to swerve all over the road*

It's jsut getting too dangerous! I gotta do something about this!

I know what to do!!

M IS FOR MONKEYS!!! *A bunch of rabid monkeys enter the bus and start biting people. John stops attacking Cyclopsis and begins singing "Everybody's Got Something to Hide Except for Me and My Monkey" over the bus microphone* (that's a real song by the way...)

Okay so that didn't help much. UMM! OOOH! M IS ALSO FOR MEDICS!

*The bus fills with doctors who start trying to treat the monkey bite victims*

There. I've done my good deed for the day. *Plops down next to Ringo and starts flirting with him*

Have you ever heard the story of the monkeys?

I like monkeys.

The pet store was selling them for five cents a piece. I thought that
odd since they were normally a couple thousand each. I decided not to
look a gift horse in the mouth. I bought 200. I like monkeys.

I took my 200 monkeys home. I have a big car. I let one drive. His
name was Sigmund. He was retarded. In fact, none of them were really
bright. They kept punching themselves in their genitals. I laughed.
Then they punched my genitals. I stopped laughing.

I herded them into my room. They didn't adapt very well to their new
environment. They would screech, hurl themselves off of the couch at
high speeds and slam into the wall. Although humorous at first, the
spectacle lost its novelty halfway into its third hour.

Two hours later I found out why all the monkeys were so inexpensive:
they all died. No apparent reason. They all just sorta' dropped dead.
Kinda' like when you buy a goldfish and it dies five hours later. Damn
cheap monkeys.

I didn't know what to do. There were 200 dead monkeys lying all over my
room, on the bed, in the dresser, hanging from my bookcase. It looked
like I had 200 throw rugs.

I tried to flush one down the toilet. It didn't work. It got stuck.
Then I had one dead, wet monkey and 199 dead, dry monkeys.

I tried pretending that they were just stuffed animals. That worked for
a while, that is until they began to decompose. It started to smell real
bad.

I had to pee but there was a dead monkey in the toilet and I didn't want
to call the plumber. I was embarrassed.

I tried to slow down the decomposition by freezing them. Unfortunately
there was only enough room for two monkeys at a time so I had to change
them every 30 seconds. I also had to eat all the food in the freezer so
it didn't all go bad.

I tried burning them. Little did I know my bed was flammable. I had to
extinguish the fire.

Then I had one dead, wet monkey in my toilet, two dead, frozen monkeys in
my freezer, and 197 dead, charred monkeys in a pile on my bed. The odor
wasn't improving.

I became agitated at my inability to dispose of my monkeys and to use the
bathroom. I severely beat one of my monkeys. I felt better.

I tried throwing them way but the garbage man said that the city wasn't
allowed to dispose of charred primates. I told him that I had a wet
one. He couldn't take that one either. I didn't bother asking about the
frozen ones.

I finally arrived at a solution. I gave them out as Christmas gifts. My
friends didn't know quite what to say. They pretended that they like
them but I could tell they were lying. Ingrates. So I punched them in
the genitals.

I like monkeys